So, here I am last night around 7:30, taking my girlfriend's brother James (my "padawan" learner) down to Big Newport because we were informed of a "light saber class/demonstration" that was to be graciously put on by the Orange County Star Wars society. When we arrived our crew was inside the tent playing the Episode III game. The Star Wars society wasn't there yet, so James sat down to learn how to play the games. After a few seconds of instruction from Jarhead Binks (Alex), Nate, and others, James set about to obliterate all takers. Nate soon was getting frustrated for losing repeatedly to an eleven year old.
But still no Star Wars society.
Jarhead Binks and myself were interviewed for about half an hour by some people for Sprint and a new cell phone news service they have going on, so that was cool. Still, 9:00 came and went, and still no Star Wars society! So, with a heavy heart, James left Big Newport with his dad to get ready for another day of school.
Finally, around 10:00 (over 2 hours late!) the first of the dorks, er... Jedi... showed up! After taking a couple of laps around the camp to announce their presence, the 8 Jedi lined up in front of Big Newport to show us how it's done! I'm not sure if it was disappointment or the look of "what the heck are these people doing?!?!" on the faces of the people at the campout. I guess when you hear the term "class" you expect some sort of information, instruction, or at least a vein display of skill. What we saw were four sets of Jedi slapping their $150-$180 dollar (they made a point to tell all of us how much their CUSTOM light sabers cost!) at each other for about ten or fifteen seconds, then they had to take a ten minute water break because they were winded!! I can't tell you how thankful I was that James was not there to see that! I'm not saying that either him or myself are masters at this stuff, but we fight, come up with moves with the $10 dollar plastic sabers and have a good time. These people can't fight (if that's what you want to call it) for more than a minute without having to be toweled off or hosed down!
But from out of the ashes, a hope arose.
Now normally, you don't pray for a Sith to come out of hiding to lay waste to some "Jedi", but we did, and we were not disappointed!! Anakin Scottwalker, without regard for his own safety, took one for the team. As the Jedi "fights" (sissy slapping) continued, Scottwalker casually strolled around the corner of the tent, unhooked the Dark Lord of the Sith from his perch, grabbed a red light saber, and with Darth Vader providing cover, ScottWalker steeled his resolve and charged into the frey with a hellacious battle cry! When it was all over, the Jedi were winded...big surprise, and ScottWalker emerged victorious with only minor wounds to his Saber hand. So, a special thanks goes out to ScottWalker for ending the evening on a good note. Aside from that, that was one of the quietest nights I have ever experienced at Big Newport. No eggs, no honking, nothing. Thank you Anakin Scottwalker for making the evening a success!!!