May 12, 2005

Helpful Hints from the Admiral- #1

When I was a child, I would go to Toy City every weekend with my allowance and buy a Star Wars action figure. By the time they went off the market, I had amassed a large assortment of all the main characters, and had bought several stormtroopers because how could I fight an intergalactic battle, the Empire against the Rebellion, with only one stormtrooper? I mean, come on. It doesn't make sense. But, the imagination is only so powerful, and there comes a time for change to add a little more tangibility to playtime.

For all you kids who are tired of recreating battles between the forces of good and evil on the floral pattern of your mother's couch, or running around on the grass, losing figures in the process, the time has come to be dazzled by a wonderfully new terrain where "The Empire Strikes Back" can come to life.

Have you ever thrown away the styrofoam protectors that come with electronic equipment? Of course you have... we all have. Stop right this instant, friend. What that white protective substance can do for your imagination is beyond belief! With the different grooves, openings, and holes, you have the ability to recreate the epic battle for Hoth. Live in the moment as you position your characters in the control room, trying to decode the Imperial probe droid's message; watch Han and the Princess defy their love again and again in the cold hallways of the base; hear the agony of the blasters and the fateful scream: "Imperial troops have entered the base. Imperial troops have entered the base. Imperial troops have..."

Now, I know this kind of information is priceless, but today, I give it freely to you. Just promise that you will go out and buy a large appliance or electronic gadget, so you too can have the magic of Hoth come to life in your living room.